So we?ve seen that even the most gentle, lovable cat can be volatile and highly strung, making split-second switches from being a sweet cuddlebuddy to a killing machine. But why? Is there some inherent evil behind the cute face and dainty demeanour? Perhaps Bootsie finds it hilarious to lure you into rubbing her tummy before trapping your hand and doing her best to scratch it to pieces while your helpless cries rend the air.
Being more charitable, we might guess that she?s grown bored of your attempts to entertain her; she may even have had a moment of panic that she?s vulnerable to your clumsy human limbs and all the fun and games could end in danger for her. Although logically she knows this is unlikely (as you?re her devoted slave), she would rather overreact than risk being hurt.
Cats spend most of their time silently observing what?s going on, which is why they make the best judges of character and will always make up their own minds rather than being swayed by anyone else?s opinions. Strangers are met with suspicion until they?ve proved themselves to be worthy of touching the elite members of the household. That friend of yours who ONCE jokingly stroked little Fluffy too hard will forever be hissed at, no matter how hard you try to persuade her that he?s ?great really?. Talk to the tail, baby!
Cats Expect the Best (and Assume That Everyone Wants to Help Them Get It)
Push a cat off your lap and the sulk may last for days. Try feeding her an inferior brand of food and you might find a ?gift? (dead only if you?re lucky) on your pillow. Lose focus while you?re supposed to be stroking her waiting chin and expect a chastising swat. Miss Kitty knows your duties, and expects you to perform them to the best of your abilities. Fail and suffer the consequences, because she?s worth it and she knows it. While cultivating a quality of life suitable for a Princess, it?s worth asking yourself ?Would a cat like this cashmere cardigan / brand of pizza / level of attention?? and if the answer is no, it?s your cue to find something better.
A cat will take for granted that whatever special arrangement you?ve laid on is for her benefit ? note the way they?ll use a stairlift without embarrassment. My friend Jasmine has a cat named Bentley; he?s a big, black, alpha male with beautiful green eyes and an insouciant swagger. One day when he was lying on the bathroom floor, she went in to use the shower and laid a bathmat down; Bentley looked up with an expression of surprised gratitude, and promptly shifted onto the mat his human had so kindly placed there for him. Make your life feel more cat-like with one simple rule: whenever anyone does or says anything nice, assume it?s for your benefit. They?ll be too surprised to tell you otherwise.